Have you found yourself in a situation where you were speaking to someone for so long, sharing deep emotions but later discovered that he or she was not there? I guess that is a common situation we all, one way or the other, have experienced that… because most people are busy nowadays, aren’t they?
They may feign paying attention to please us but they don’t really care… and if they care they don’t know how to be supportive: they judge, interrupt and give us advices when we just need them to truly be present.
George MacDonald says “Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly.”
So what does it mean to be present? Simply put it is when coaches cut themselves off from any inner or outer distracting factors that may prevent them from connecting to their clients. It is when alchemy is established allowing the client to pour out freely all his deep thoughts, ideas and emotions. “Dancing with the client” is one of the metaphors that best describes that situation.
What are these inner and outer distracting factors?
Outer distracting factors can be related to the external conditions and circumstances determining the quality of a coaching session such as continuous phone calls interruptions, noise, shortage of time, etc.
The inner ones are the most challenging because they come from within and are hardly perceivable: “You can’t see the picture when you are in the frame”… Among these inner factors, just to mention a few, is self-doubt, it is when we start judging ourselves and questioning our performance, or ego, which is when we presume that we know more than our clients and start advising them. All these factors drift the coach’s attention away from the main thing which is the client.
How avoid that trap?
Mindfulness is the key…By being in the moment and listening attentively to what is running inside us as coaches, by reconnecting to our inner wisdom, by raising our self-awareness we create an enlightening space clients will use to delve deep into themselves and create their own awakening and AHA moments